Reflection on Returning to the Mainstream Workforce

My first week back into mainstream type of employment, even at part-time, was good.  

I had a few moments of “blah” and then I bounced back.

The pace of my life sped up considerably.  This has brought to my attention just how important it is for me to nurture myself.  I didn’t drink enough water.  I got hungry a few times.  I definitely got caught up in some energies that I would have otherwise avoided.  I had less time to process what was happening around me and so remaining mindful was more of an effort.  Spazzy Colleen made an appearance…or two.

I also noted that I was falling into old habits of being a “first responder”.  My old nature was very reactionary and I can tell that is something that could be coming up for me.  I’m grateful for the foreknowledge. 

What I came away with is it doesn’t matter what I do.  I just do it and do it in love.  When the world speeds up, I can breathe and slow down.  Then things settle.  I am seeing the important of balance.  And the wisdom of moderation.  *gasp*

Now in my fourth week, I am finding a routine.  That's not always good (for me)-again, remaining mindful is key for my well being.  It's too easy for me to fall into a rut.  On the other hand, connecting with others has been awesome.  

While I am not thrilled to be employed as it is NOT my passion or joy, I am grateful nonetheless.  Holding on to any other emotion around this is not conducive to my overall happiness.  The people I am working with are incredible examples of grace and compassion and they are excellent examples for me.  I am honored to be working with them. 

Trust...Day 1

Trust.

The word I chose to be my focus this year.  

The word alone invokes a sense of *ugh* within me.  I don’t want to.  I don’t want to deal.  I don’t care.  I see my propensity for denial and procrastination is still alive and kicking.  *smirk*

Trust means many things – just google it and see the results.  I chose the definition “confidence” and when I apply that meaning, it transforms the word into something I am more comfortable exploring.

I went to bed last night, just after the new year passed, feeling very alone.  Not in a sad way, more in a resigned way.  I was also very hungry and very tired.  To me these feelings are indicators that I need some self-nurturance.  I was inclined to turn to victim mentality and ruminate on why my life was so crappy, but I fought it off (insert Higher Power) until I could go to sleep confident I was going to be just fine. 

I slept 12 hours.

When I woke up I had fresh coffee, bacon and laughter waiting for me. 

Trust works.

Have a Blessed and Happy New Year!