My journey has, up until NOW, been a study of extreme opposites. Finding the shades of gray has been my biggest challenge. Sometimes finding the middle, the and/or, the both are true, feels unsettling. Vertigo comes to mind. Temperance pleads with me to allow her entrance.
Here in Portland, along the Steel Bridge, locks have been attached by lovers as symbols of their commitment to one another. I find it incredibly romantic and heartwarming. In honor of Valentine's Day, the day of LOVE, I share some of these symbols in the pictures I have taken...
Excerpt from article in blue (my bold/underline/italics for emphasis):
In your current situation, the precautionary
principle that consists in not trying to discover us no longer prevails.
You are already in the Pandora’s box that the “third party” has created
around you. Whatever your decision may be, you will have to get out of
it.
In the face of such a dilemma, one ignorance against
another, you need to ask your intuition. Do you want to see us with
your own eyes, or simply believe what your “authorities” say? That is
the real question! After thousands of years, one day this choice was
going to be inevitable: choosing between two unknowns.
Not choosing stands for undergoing other people’s
choice. Not informing others stands for running the risk of obtaining a
result that is contrary to one’s expectations. Remaining indifferent
means giving up one’s free will.
In the past few years I have been seeing things that my brain has had a hard time computing. Daily I see more and more evidence of something inexplicable to my current knowledge-base. However, what I am experiencing has been joyful, loving, compassionate and non-judgmental. Very different from the fear based paradigm we are subjected to by the mainstream.
And this is not about a rescue mission via aliens. The whole savior mentality is not part of my personal desire. I have no wish to be saved or rescued. Rescuing takes away my responsibility and autonomy. I wish to be part of the solution. To be part of the work of restoration. To co-create a world of peace, dignity and grace. Help would be nice. Assistance would be awesome. Full knowledge. Full transparency.
Click the link on the article and read in its entirety.
Well, she's done it again. She has channeled heartbreak into empowerment and is taking it to the bank. Well done my Lion Hearted Sister.
I like the part of the lyrics..."I could get caught up in bitterness, but I'm not dwelling on this crazy mess....I picked up my crown, put it back on my head".
To me that is the true essence of Love. We love. And sometimes it just doesn't work out. But that doesn't mean we should give up or close off our hearts. We get back up. We keep on walking tall. We don't let heartache break us or define us. We don't lose faith, hope, magic.
I live for Love.
I am Love.
Boom, Boom, Boom!
"Living For Love"
First you love me and I let you in
Made me feel like I was born again
You empowered me, you made me strong
Built me up and I can do no wrong
I let down my guard, I fell into your arms
Forgot who I was, I didn't hear the alarms
Now I'm down on my knees, alone in the dark
I was blind to your game
You fired a shot in my heart
Took me to heaven and let me fall down
Now that it's over I'm gonna carry on
Lifted me up, and watched me stumble
After the heartache I'm gonna carry on
Living for love
Living for love
I'm not giving up
I'm gonna carry on
Living for love
I'm living for love
Not gonna stop
Love's gonna lift me up
(Love, lift me up)
Love's gonna lift me up
(Love, lift me up)
Love's gonna lift me up
I could get caught up in bitterness
But I'm not dwelling on this crazy mess
I found freedom in the ugly truth
I deserve the best and it's not you
You've broken my heart, but you can't bring it down
I've fallen apart, I was lost, now I'm found
I picked up my crown, put it back on my head
I can forgive, but I will never forget
Took me to heaven and let me fall down
Now that it's over I'm gonna carry on
Lifted me up and watched me stumble
After the heartache I'm gonna carry on
Living for love
I'm living for love
I'm not giving up
I'm gonna carry on
Living for love
I'm living for love
Not gonna stop
Love's gonna lift me up
(Love, lift me up)
Love's gonna lift me up
(Love, lift me up)
Love's gonna lift me up
Love's gonna lift me up
Love, love lift me
Love, love lift me
God forgive me
I'm gonna carry on
Love, love lift me
Love, love lift me
God forgive me
Love's gonna lift me up
Love, love lift me
Love, love lift me
God forgive me
Love's gonna lift me up
Up, up, up
Don't leave me out, out, out
Love's gonna lift me up
Living for love
Living for love
I'm not giving up
I'm gonna carry on
Living for love
I'm living for love
Not gonna stop
Love's gonna lift me up
Come on, come on, come on
I need you to
Lift me up up up
Come on
Lift me up lord
On Monday,
January 26, 2015, in the mid-morning hours, my mother passed to the
other side from a massive coronary. Just passing her 68th birthday, she
died alone.
She never enjoyed her birthdays and she never failed
to get really ill around this time of year. In fact, she had her first
stroke just days after her 54th birthday.
I refuse to pity her though. She would not want anyone's pity.
Sympathy perhaps. Pity, no. She left this world on her terms. She
would not have wanted any of us hovering over her, wringing our hands or
clinging to her to hang on. She was done. She was ready. She had
been for some time.
While I am angry that I will never see her
again and I am sad that I did not talk to her in the past 8 months, I
celebrate her release from this life which had become very uncomfortable
for her. She had lost her independence and a lot of her physical
mobility. Both of which she prized highly.
My mother had a
hard life in many respects. And she lived it on her terms. For better
or worse. She shared her gifts and laughter with her three children and
left us with many memories of belly aching times when our laughing
could not be stopped. She shared her childlike demeanor in the simple
pleasures in life, whether it was making homemade Christmas ornaments,
watching a movie or playing a board game. She mastered many skills,
including music, seamstressy, crocheting, homemaking, cooking,
renovating, first aid, and child rearing. Her intuition was uncanny
whether we were living in her home or in another country. She knew when
we needed her.
She was fierce when she lived on this planet. And she will be fierce in the heavens.
I know that my brother, sister and I now have the Biggest, Baddest,
Fiercest Angel protecting us. I pity the fool that dares to cross us.
I have been told I'm a people pleaser. Usually delivered in a way to denote critisim or pity on me. Let it be noted that those that sneer at people pleasers are also the beneficiaries of such.
I know I am a people pleaser. I used to hide it, deny it and try to fight it. Then one day I realized I couldn't do it. It is who I am. No need to shame myself into changing it. Trying to change it hasn't worked AT ALL.
So, I delve into understanding this aspect.
For one thing, why the hatin'? I mean, if you are on the receiving end of a people pleaser why would you not consider that a good thing? Seriously? Think about it. I don't understand. I am doing for YOU. I am making YOUR life more comfortable. What's not in it for YOU?
Second, I thoroughly enjoy other people's happiness. It's not that I don't have needs, wants, desires, preferences, etc. They just aren't as...demanding. What movie to see? I don't care. Really. I just want to be in your company so what we do matters not. Does that make sense. Probably not to you. It does to me. I enjoy watching your pleasure, your happiness and your excitement. Observing you.
When the world is happy I am happy.
So c'mon world GET FRAPPIN' HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
postscript:
approximately one hour after I posted this on my blog, Julian Lennon posted this on his Facebook page:
It encompasses many aspects of my life. Community, Cooperation, Cohesiveness, Coordination.
I am also Calling in "The One".
Hear my call from far away..
Putting this out there feels very vulnerable. Like you, as my audience, can see my need. I feel a sense of shame and powerlessness in my stating my need. I believe that stems from old childhood wounds of not having my needs validated.
Despite the uncomfortableness of my exposure, I continue.
And how true is my need for a partner?
I don't need material security. I create my own and have from a very early age. I don't need companionship. I have a large circle of friends, support and community to draw upon if I ever feel lonely. I don't even need a sexual partner as I am always my own best lover.
So where does my need come from?
I want to look into my man's eyes and see my love reflected back to me. I want him to look in my eyes and see hinself reflected in my love.
Perhaps this more accurately describes what I seek: Partnership (I found this at Facebook)
