Change in Perspective

I'm coming up on my third year back to mainstream work and 18 months back to 40 hours a week.  Today I was noticing my reaction to my new utility bill....

I used to get my bills and get stressed out about them.  I'd feel resentful about paying the bills.  I'd feel anxiety about paying the bill.  I'd often seek distractions to keep from thinking about my bills and I'd also spend tons of time obsessing over my payback schedule.  In short, I was fearful and resentful of my bills. 

Today I got my new electric bill.  It's at its highest at this time of year when I'm trying to heat a drafty apartment.  And I run cold.  So it's high.  In the past I would have definitely stressed about the amount while being angry about having to pay it.  But today, I felt gratitude that I have the money to pay it.  I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and I'm grateful I am warm inside. 

I realize I am living a blessed life. Things aren't perfect, but I choose to be grateful for everything I have.

New Year New Schmear

Whatever goals I thought I was going to start my new year with have quickly flown the coop.  Those ways are for the good old days.  I am now taking a more balanced and grounded approach.  Realistic even...

How did I think I could take on so many new changes all at once?  I ended up failing at every one of them before the day ended. 

Why are we, why am I, so hard on myself (ourselves).  It's something I see all around me via friends, social media and culturely, even when I changed my yearly goal to one word I had a secret list of life changes I was applying to myself.  Pure folly.

So in this moment I give up my notions of perfection and ease into comfort&joy and work towards that goal and away from tasks that are not in alignment with that ultimate goal.

Feel good. 😍