Freedom

Love

helps

me

live

life

free

to

be

me 

Profound Princess

I have three sisters and in order to protect her identity, I will refer to this particular sister as Profound Princess.

I was talking to PP *smirk* today...

We were having a convo about many diverse subjects when the topic of self love came up.

She said that sometimes she doesn't love herself.

"Why?" I asked.

Her reply...

"Because loneliness is the price of self-love."

"Sometimes." 

As her words sank in to my shattered brain, I wanted to scream "NOOOOOO" it's not true.  But, the truth glared back at me in defiance.

She went on....

"It's (loneliness) like the tax we pay for loving ourselves."

"Loving others is a sacrifice."  [to self]

Wow.

 

Yoda

Communique

I have received communication from my mother.  She passed to The Other Side in January of this year.

I don't know that I ever really believed in this kind of thing....

I mean, I always kind of hoped for it.

I believed it...kind of...when others spoke of it.

I wanted to believe.

I've watched tons of movies and I've read tons of books on the subject.

I've had some kind of experiences... unexplainable....

But, on the morning of April 6, I had my very own experience that I can only conclude was my mother communicating with me.

The meaning of the communication eludes me, but that it was her is unmistakable.

Four days prior, I used the word "Stalwart" to describe her when I was in a therapy session.

The night of 4/5-4/6 I was unable to sleep.  My body was vibrating intensely.  It was like I was having an "upgrade" or something (spiritual ascension symptoms) and I tossed and turned most of the night.  As I was unable to sleep, I was checking my email regularly on my phone, eagerly awaiting the newest GaiaPortal message.  I was certain there would be a new one as the previous one had been sent on 3/31/15 and I felt it was overdue at this point.  They seem to come about every 4 days or so.  I had last checked at 3:33 am.  At approximately 4:30am on 4/6/15, sure enough, a new message appeared.

Streamings of Stalwart Steadfasts have begun....

That was the heading and first sentence.  Even without my glasses on, I immediately could read the word Stalwart.

The word Stalwart is not a commonly used term these days.  I was so intrigued, I ripped off my cpap mask and put my glasses on to read the entire message.  I laid back down and said out loud..."I don't know"...  Then, a neighbor's stereo went off....VERY LOUDLY...

FALLING FROM CLOUD 9  

Katy Perry's "Wide Awake"

Just those portion of the lyrics.

Now my mother probably didn't know anything about Katy Perry while alive, but on the other side she would definitely know how much I adore her.  What IS significant, is 1) the title of the song "Wide Awake" -which had metaphorical, esoterical and literal meaning TO ME and 2) the number 9 as my mother was born on January 9th and I was born on the March 18th which in numerology, 18 turns into a 9 and she knows *I* am into numbers and numerology.  And the only portion of the lyric that was heard was Falling from Cloud 9.  Then the music shut off just as suddenly as it came on.  9.  She wanted me to hear 9. 

My Sister also received a personalized communication.  And my mother had told her that she would be contacting us after she passed.  Done and done!  Amazing.

Hi Mom!

I know you used to love playing your video games (Morrowind), I hope your reality is just like that!  You will be having a grand time!  I also hope I'm not making too much trouble for you!  LOL!  Though you may be enjoying yourself on that front too!  Speaking of which...can you do me a favor perhaps?  Can you speed up my waitlist so I can get into that studio apartment with my own bathroom real soon?  I know YOU understand perfectly!  Please and Thank you!

I will be listening for messages!  I love you and miss you!  <3<3<3  I know you are a big badass up there!  Give 'em all "whatfor"!  Then make all the troublemakers do your bidding!  :):)

 

List of things I Love.....

In an attempt to de-spell the negativity that I feel surrounded by, I am making a list of the things I love....

 In other words...A Love Spell

picture


I love my neighbors....they are better than daytime TV

picture

(though I do truly love listening to my neighbor play Led Zeppelin on his acoustic guitar...*swooon*....uh, swoon is for the live, acoustic guitar, not neighbor. ew.)


I love my medications...they are better than illicit drugs

picture

I love hostess cupcakes....they are less expensive than Voodoo Donuts

 

picture

I love men...they remind me why I am gratefully single

 

picture

I love tea...because it makes me go pee


      picture
 picture



I love the Book of Faces...it takes up time


picture



I love my soft blanket...in lieu of my soft, purring, sweet, cat

VS        

I love downtown Joe's Burgers....for doing it their way.  Hey, it's only 2015, no reason to have the ability to customize orders....??????  I admire their moxie! 

'

picture

I love that the bathroom on my hall has an occupied sign on it when it is, well, occupied and locked...for obvious reasons (but for some reason can still be entered into when I'm occupying the bathroom-and I love this as it keeps me hyper alert at 5:30 am-without coffee!)

 

 picture

            and speaking of which...

I love coffee...anytime, anywhere,  in any form...           

(okay, I take that back.  When I googled this image, coffee enemas came up.  No f'ing thank you but kudos to those brave souls willing to take THAT on!)






















picture found here

Doppleblobbers

My sister was the first person I heard use the term Doppleblobbers.  It is a play on Doppleganger.

Per Wikipedia:

Doppelgänger

In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger or doppelgaenger (/ˈdɒp(ə)lˌɡɛŋə/ or /-ˌɡæŋə/; German: [ˈdɔpəlˌɡɛŋɐ] ( listen), literally "double-goer") is a look-alike or double of a living person, sometimes portrayed as a paranormal phenomenon, and in some traditions as a harbinger of bad luck.  The word doppelgänger is often used in a more general sense to describe any person who physically or behaviorally resembles another person.

I love the term Doppleblobber better as it implies playfulness and silliness.  I'm not sure if I can remember the first time I encountered a Doppleblobber, but I when I was in my very early 20's I met a woman who is the spitting image of Dolly Parton.  We are now friends and we also share the same birthday.  It truly is uncanny how much she looks like Dolly.  Of course, she is gorgeous!

One time I was in a nightclub and met a young man who I swore was James Spader.  He eventually showed me his drivers' license to convince me he was not Mr. Spader.  I still didn't believe him.  And I'm not saying alcohol was not involved.  

Through the years, as I have moved across the country, I met people in my new city that resembled the same people from the city/cities I previously lived in.  They typically showed up in the workplace since that is where I spent the majority of my time in those days.  One woman physically and personality matched my sister, and their birthdays are 2 days apart. Another co-worker not only shared my brother's name, but when I heard his laugh I could have sworn it was my brother!  Their personalities were also similar.  I also used to work with several other men that bore a striking resemblance to celebrities...U2's Edge, Sammy Hagar, one that looked so much like John Lennon that the first time I saw him tears came to my eyes and another that looked like Colin Farrell-accent included!  I have a friend that reminds me of Maggie Siff and a I have another friend whose son always reminds me of Joseph Gordon Levitt. 

Back in 1985, I went to school with a young man that not only was a Cancer, but really looked like Tom Cruise.  Dreamy!  (remember, this was 1985)

I had a psychiatrist who didn't resemble my father, but definitely reminded me of him, nonetheless.  And when my father was younger, I thought he looked alot like Alan Alda.  Now that he is older, his resemblance to Chevy Chase is downright uncanny.  My mom used to say she thought she looked like Roy Orbison.  :)

One of my friends was married to a man who looked like Colin Firth and another who looked like George Clooney.  No kidding!

And once upon a time I dated a man who most definitely had that sexy Lenny Kravitz vibe going on.  Oh myyyy! :)  Other doppleblobber men I've dated...R. Kelly, Cliff Robinson, and Michael Jackson to name a few.   edit: omg. I remembered one....I dated a "Garth" of Wayne's World

Then there are a few Hollywood stars that resemble each other.  Katy Perry and Zoey Deschanel; Andy Gibb and Heath Ledger; U2's Bono and Robin Williams; Brad Pitt and Robert Redford; Isla Fisher and Amy Adams.  And while Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon may not resemble Eddie Vedder so much in looks, their voices are very similar and they are both Capricorns.

Over the years, it has become more and more of common occurrence for me to see a person and think they have a strong resemblance to an actor or actress.

While I was living in homeless shelters and spending a lot of time on the streets of downtown Portland last year, I came across many a doppleblobber.  Here are a few...

Ed Norton
Jake Gyllenhall
Chris Hemstreet
Katy Perry
Gene Simmons
Samuel L. Jackson
John Slattery
Gary Sinese
Christian Bale
Jeremy Renner
James Gandolfini
Robert Patrick
Kevin Spacey
Sean Hayes
Mark Wahlberg
Bono
Djimon Hounsou
Sammy Davis, Jr.
Jeff Goldblum
Mel Gibson
Sinbad
L.L. Cool J.
Ryan Hurst
John Cleese
Lucille Ball
 
Literary / Cartoon Characters:

Frog and Toad
Shrek
Glinda the Good Witch
Tin Man
Cowardly Lion
Scarecrow
I would say that in my interactions with these Wizard of Oz Characters that I was Dorothy with many red shoes and my chronic calling for "Home". 


And lately I see many men who resemble Jesus, or at least the European depicted Jesus of my childhood (this could just be fashion repeating itself):



Picture found here: Jesus Picture

Er, um, I've also noticed a remarkable number of men looking like they come from the 1890's...could it have anything to do with....   

 

.........Oh Portlandia how I love thee

This "doppleblobber" phenomenon is not unique to me.  Other people I know have noticed it.  And here is an article from The Mind Unleashed blog about this subject:

Shocking Similarities in Human Templates Between Complete Strangers

As I keep thinking about this phenom, I keep remembering more doppleblobbers.  It appears it is neverending so I end this post here, but know that I will continue to experience these occurrences.

UPDATE AUGUST 2015:
Recent sightings....

Peter Dinklage
Orlando Bloom (confirmed by the person with me)
2 more Jeremy Renners (WTH?)
Jurgen Prochnow

and a "dead ringer" for a friend that recently passed.

Things are getting weirdER in Portland.  I don't hate it!  LOL!

 

Relevant non-sensical post...

I had a dream last night about Dave Grohl....

In my dream I was temping as a secretary (that could likely happen)....

And in the office I was temping at, Dave Grohl was also an employee (not likely to happen as he was still Dave Grohl, Foo Fighter Lead Singer and Rock God)

In my dream, I was astounded that Dave Grohl would be working in any kind of capacity outside of Foo Fighters and inside of an office (I do have reasoning functionality inside of my dreams)

Nonetheless, I was compelled to initiate conversation with him in a very familiar manner, like he was, well....anybody else....and why not...he was working in an office....?????

So, in my mind (in my dream), I was going to tell him about how I had tried to purchase Foo Fighter tickets for the Portland show this year but they had sold out so quickly I was unable.  And how disappointed I was.  (Maybe secretly in my head I was hoping he would give me some kind of backstage pass :):):)  Though the meeting in the office really was quite enough.)  

Then...I didn't feel right about bringing up his Foo Fighter "connection" in the office atmosphere.  It felt so...I don't know...obvious?  Like everybody did it.  I couldn't do it.

Instead, I just gazed at him with googly eyes.

Like that was any better.

Then the alarm went off.

Blast it!



Picture found here