Compromise?

Where do I strike a medium ground with myself?  How do I come to terms with being me and being accepted exactly as I am now with being "toned" down for a relationship?  Because, it is appearing to me that in order for me to be in a romantic relationship, there is going to have to be a little less me in order for it to work.

And is that right? Is that fair?  Is that how it is?  Is this life when in a partnership?

I had been under the assumption that when we are in relationship, that we are accepted for all we are, flaws, too muchness, good and bad.  However, I am getting that in order for a partnership to occur I am going to have to keep some of ME to myself.

I am having some dissonance.

Right now I am feeling so confined.  I feel like I am in prison.  I feel suffocated, no stifled.  Yes, I am feeling like I am being corralled and tied up.  Penned in.

I am having a problem coming to terms with all this.  I want to be exactly as I am.  Yes, oftentimes I am a wrecking ball.  Maybe I should be with someone whose walls are a little stronger. 

Maybe being alone is where it is at.

No compromise.

Yet, where is the growth?  And being alone can suck sometimes.

Can I have it all?

Can I be me and have a romantic relationship?

I don't have the answer.

It's like I give up pieces of me in order to have someone in my life.

I don't know if it's worth it.

And I vacillate...

When at work, do I hold part of myself back?  Of course.  And in other certain social settings as well.  In fact, there are very few venues where I am and can be all of me.  My support groups.  And at home when I am alone.

I guess, the big question is am I willing to compromise in order to have a relationship?

Well, if these feelings of being "tamed" are part of it, I am going to have to decline.