New Year, New...?

I begin this year with less enthusiasm than any previous years.  I have no word to define my intentions for this year.  I have no goals to pursue.  I have no Grand Illusions to chase.  It's less a feeling of ennui than just a cold dose of Re-al-i-tay.  Life on life's terms as the good ol' 12 step programs like to call it.  I call it taking the fun out of life.  And here I have landed. 

I've discovered, after many years of chasing the elusive, that romantic love is just a game I have made up for myself in order to distract myself from the unpleasant drudgery-ness of life.  The mundane that bores me stupid.  It isn't real.  It isn't solid and it doesn't matter.  In the words of Katy Perry, "I'm Wide Awake"....

I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
How did I read the stars so wrong?
And now it's clear to me
That everything you see
Ain't always what it seems
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn't dive in
Wouldn't bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
'Til I woke up on
On the concrete

Ah, it was fun while it lasted.  Sort of.  Okay, not really.  Ha!  My life summed up in a pop song.  Now THAT is funny!

If that is any indication of how the rest of my year goes, then perhaps all won't be so bad.  

I have decided to have no goals, no intentions and no motivations for this year.  I turn 50 and that's about all I am up for.  I have worked hard this life and I'm good taking it day by day.

Happy New Year!