12/31/15
As I reflect on my year and my word for
the year...LOVE...I can say that I am definitely NOT where I thought
I would be when this year ended, which is still single. And a little
heart heavy. On the other hand, I do not, can not, regret one single
moment of this year and I can say with total clarity that LOVE is
exactly what I have ended this year with. Love of myself. While I
started this year in search of “The One”, what I found was that I
am The One I was looking for all along.
I went seeking a partner and tried
everything in my power to make a relationship out of thin air which
only caused pain. I kept trying to push a square peg into a round
hole. Force. Will. More of the banging the head against the wall
scenario. Eventually the banging woke me up. Eventually.
Now I realize that I can never find
Love in or with anyone outside of myself. Love comes from within me.
I can only find the Love I seek inside myself. I have found it. I
am discovering it. I am exploring my own Love. When the time is
right, another who has Love from within, will come along and we will
be two wholes and will be stronger for it.
I finally realized that two broken
people cannot make one whole person. Unfortunately. I certainly
have tried what feels like a bazillion times. I finally figured it
out.
I am “Shaking it Off” now as this
year ends.
sayo-fucking-nara
