There is a ferocity building up inside me just waiting to
pounce. Wanting to fight. Wanting to attack. Preparing for annihilation. Where is this energy coming from. Who is this intended for? How do I release this fire without
destruction?
I feel fierce. I feel mean. I feel combative. I feel like I could move a mountain if I had to.
My energy is a force of nature.
I could walk for hours, parting crowds on the sidewalk like Moses parted the Red Sea. I've done it before. The look on my face keeps people far from me. My mother only referred to it as "The Look". I'm not even sure what it looks like I only know what it feels like.
I feel it now.
I'm not a warrior by nature. I am a peaceful, gentle person. I don't like conflict. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But DAMN, when this kind of energy flows over, around me and through me, the Fire of Mars enflames me and I am turned into a Berserker. (as if on cue, a hot wind blows through my window)
Berserkers (or berserks) were Norse warriors who are primarily reported in the Old Norse literature to have fought in a nearly uncontrollable, trance-like fury, a characteristic which later gave rise to the English word berserk.
In the past when this has happened, I've resorted to self destructive behaviors that NEVER served me well. I have no regrets as my life is a life lived fully. However, I also have no desire to repeat some of those old patterns. Me noggin' is a wee bit tired of the hard knocks I've put it through.
How do I corral this energy into something productive? I spent the better part of this day, 8 hours or so, being hyper focused on creative, productive, constructive activities. I then journaled, and expelled some physical energy. And still it persists, much like a jack russell terrier....
Milo
I could surmise some guesses. I know that Mercury is coming out of retrograde in a couple of days....
I once went out with a guy who said he couldn't date me due to some astrological configuration. I rolled my eyes. As an astrologer I was not impressed with his disclosure. I felt it was a wimpy way out. In fact, I was quite infuriated by his "excuse". To use astrology, which to me I hold very dear and sacred, as a reason not to date me?? It was sacrilegious in my opinion. What an asshat. If I wasn't interested in someone I would straight up say so. Good Gravy. I digress....
So, perhaps now that Mercury is getting ready to go direct, I am getting ready to go DIRECT as well. That makes me giggle inside a little. My Mercury is in Aries, after all. I can already be Direct. No one really needs me to be more Direct.
Anyway, I am sensitive to Cosmic and Collective Energy. The Rose Festival is in town and there are many people in the downtown area where I live and many men in uniform roaming the streets. The temperature is up and the sun is out. Could be some upcoming solar flare, coronal mass ejection, earth weather or some such. I tend to feel it before it happens. Much like animals in the wild. How special. If only I knew why it is I am feeling on FIRE...
I feel fierce. I feel mean. I feel combative. I feel like I could move a mountain if I had to.
My energy is a force of nature.
I could walk for hours, parting crowds on the sidewalk like Moses parted the Red Sea. I've done it before. The look on my face keeps people far from me. My mother only referred to it as "The Look". I'm not even sure what it looks like I only know what it feels like.
I feel it now.
I'm not a warrior by nature. I am a peaceful, gentle person. I don't like conflict. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But DAMN, when this kind of energy flows over, around me and through me, the Fire of Mars enflames me and I am turned into a Berserker. (as if on cue, a hot wind blows through my window)
Berserkers (or berserks) were Norse warriors who are primarily reported in the Old Norse literature to have fought in a nearly uncontrollable, trance-like fury, a characteristic which later gave rise to the English word berserk.
In the past when this has happened, I've resorted to self destructive behaviors that NEVER served me well. I have no regrets as my life is a life lived fully. However, I also have no desire to repeat some of those old patterns. Me noggin' is a wee bit tired of the hard knocks I've put it through.
How do I corral this energy into something productive? I spent the better part of this day, 8 hours or so, being hyper focused on creative, productive, constructive activities. I then journaled, and expelled some physical energy. And still it persists, much like a jack russell terrier....
Milo
I could surmise some guesses. I know that Mercury is coming out of retrograde in a couple of days....
I once went out with a guy who said he couldn't date me due to some astrological configuration. I rolled my eyes. As an astrologer I was not impressed with his disclosure. I felt it was a wimpy way out. In fact, I was quite infuriated by his "excuse". To use astrology, which to me I hold very dear and sacred, as a reason not to date me?? It was sacrilegious in my opinion. What an asshat. If I wasn't interested in someone I would straight up say so. Good Gravy. I digress....
So, perhaps now that Mercury is getting ready to go direct, I am getting ready to go DIRECT as well. That makes me giggle inside a little. My Mercury is in Aries, after all. I can already be Direct. No one really needs me to be more Direct.
Anyway, I am sensitive to Cosmic and Collective Energy. The Rose Festival is in town and there are many people in the downtown area where I live and many men in uniform roaming the streets. The temperature is up and the sun is out. Could be some upcoming solar flare, coronal mass ejection, earth weather or some such. I tend to feel it before it happens. Much like animals in the wild. How special. If only I knew why it is I am feeling on FIRE...
"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply."
David Jones
Trying to remember to BREATHE....and that my Soul Purpose is LOVE. Sheesh. I need a vacation.
